If you go away
by woelfin-akhuna
Summary: A drabble about the feelings that Remus J. Lupin might have had after the night when he met Sirius again in POA. Remus POV, sort of SBRL slash


**_Disclaimer: _**Harry Potter, the universe and the characters sprung J. K. Rowlings mind, and not mine. I don't own anything except the idea of this short Drabble, and the song "If you go away" belongs to the wonderful Emiliana Torrini (maybe you know her song "Gollums Song" from the LOTR soundtrack of "The two towers"?). I highly adore those two women and I would never want to offend them.

**_Warnings: _**This very very short Songfic is about slash, that means relationships between two male. If you don't like that kind of story, please don't write me homophobic reviews. Everybody can think about homosexuality as he/she likes. Accept it.

**_Rating:_** PG-13 because of slash. Nothing graphical, of course, just the hint of a relationship between RL and SB

**_A/N: _**Takes place directly after then night in POA, when Sirius had just been freed by Hermione and Harry. Remus has transformed into human form again and he thinks about the last hours. Just a drabble, so please don't complain about the shortness. And now: Enjoy it, and if you can, get that song. I love it. Its very melancholic and just what I need right now…

_**If you go away**_

If you go away

On this summer day  
Then you might as well  
Take the sun away  
All the birds that flew  
In the summer sky  
When our love was new  
And our hearts were high  
And the day was young  
And the night was long  
And the moon stood still  
For the night bird's song

If you go away

But if you stay  
I'll make you a day  
Like no day has been  
Or will be again  
We'll sail the sun  
We'll ride on the rain  
And talk to the trees  
And worship the wind

Then if you go  
I'll understand  
Leave me just enough love  
To fill up my hand

If you go away  
As I know you will  
You must tell the world  
To stop turning,  
'til you return again  
If you ever do  
For what good is love  
Without loving you?  
Can I tell you now  
As you turn to go  
I'll be dying slowly  
'til the next hello

But if you stay  
I'll make you a night  
Like no night has been  
Or will be again  
I'll sail on your smile  
I'll glide on your touch  
I'll talk to your eyes  
That I love so much

But if you go  
I won't cry  
Though the good is gone  
From the word goodbye

If you go away  
As I know you must  
There'll be nothing left  
In this world to trust  
Just an empty room  
Full of empty space  
Like the empty look  
I see on your face  
And I'd have been the shadow  
Of your shadow  
If it might have kept me

By your side

I stood by the window looking out. The full moon had finally given away to the sun, and I regained my human shape. Dumbledore, Hagrid and Madam Pomfrey found me at the edge of the forbidden forest, bleeding, aching and unconscious.

Briefly they had told me what happened last night, when Harry and Hermione saved you from the Dementors kiss and helped you escape with Buckbeak.

For a short hour I had you by my side again. For the briefest of moments I had you in my arms, your weak scrawny body pressed tightly against mine. I felt your hair, not longer smooth and trimmed but dirty and long, I smelt the stale smell of your tattered clothes, felt your calloused hands around my body. I've never been happier before.

Now you're gone, gone off far away to hide together with that Hippogriff . We weren't allowed to say goodbye or to celebrate your newly gained freedom. No private word could be spoken, not without the children hearing us. Did you want to kiss me? I did. But not in front of the children. James son. Arthurs son.

Do you know that I've been hunting that night? Not only for humans (I hope Harry and Hermione will forgive me for attacking them...) but for a Rat. But my supernatural Werwolf-senses were not able to find the track of a small rat in the depths of the forbidden forest. My senses still are higher than usual, with the transformation just hours ago, and I strain my ears and my nose to sense him, that traitor, that Pettigrew prat. But he's nowhere to be found, and it leaves me growling.

When will I see you again? Do you still feel something for me? Are you willing to let me in your life again?

Only time will tell.

-

Song "If you go away" by Emiliana Torrini, from the CD "Love in the time of science"


End file.
